Holidays

So I have been working like a dog on my homework and all that crap, it is hard and frusterating . I just wish that it gets a little bit easier soon. hopefully......I took little man to the pediatrician yesterday and everything is ok with him, not that i expected something to be wrong, but regardless I have to take him back in a couple months for another check up.
Wes starts his holidays on Sunday. I am excited but at the same time not. We are going to go down south the Calgary and see his family. I have avoided meeting these people for the last 4 or 5 years and now I have to. Not that they are bad people or anything I just hate meeting new people. But whatever I cant get out of it this time. After we go down there we are going to my dads house for thanksgiving. That itself should be interesting enough. We can't have a holiday there and some one not get in a fight/argument. I would like to say I hope it will all be ok, but who am I kidding.......lol. ...... Mander knows what I'm talking about.
I can hardly wait to go for one reason and one reason only........the last time I was down there I got pictures of Brandon done at the portriat studio at walmart and I get to pick them up!!!!!!!! I am so excited. They were so cute!!!! But I am going to go and help wes cook breakfast so he doesnt burn my house down.....lol. Talk to you guys later.

A Few Poems

As a few of you guys know the end of August marked a very special day for me. Four years ago my best friend fell asleep behind the wheel of his truck and rolled it. He was pronounced dead at the scene. The months that followed that were pretty dark for me, I wrote a number of poems and quotes to try and help me get through it, but that really didn't work and I ended up doing some stuff that I really regret to this day. But here I would like to share a few of my lighter poems with you.

1) Untitled # 1
Torn and Broken,
Alone and scared
Agonized and confused.

Haunted by the memories,
By a lover past
Shattered by the thoughts
That run through my mind.

Tormented day and night
By the things we used to do,
Longing for the way,
Things used to be.

Wishing you were here with me.

2) Sometimes
Sometimes I cry
As I watch the world go by
Sometimes I cry
And watch my happiness die.
I Keep my feelings bottled up inside
I keep my broken heart,
And my world so far apart.
I let my tears pour
Only alone in the dark.
I think of you and time departs,
I've tried to forget
But my feelings haven't changed.
I let on like I never cared,
But deep down inside I'm scared
Because I know your love
Has left me alone in despair.

3) Untitled # 2
Tear drops falling
like rain drops falling on a tin roof
Pain growing stronger
Like tall grass in the spring
Love is dying
Like roses wilting
Under the snow
Fear is burning
Like Hell's furry so high.

4) Untitled #3
I miss you so much
More than words can say
I think back on that night,
The night it all happened.
There's more I could have done,
I know there is!
Why did you have to leave?
This life I call mine,
Is dark and empty without you
If only you had listened,
You'd still be here today
To hold me close when I need you,
To tell me that its all going to be ok,
To pull me back to you,
And tell me all this isn't worth it,
That ending it all
Just isn't worth it.

5) Untitled # 4
On the wind are bittersweet memories
Of the way things used to be
I think of the night it happened,
The words we said,
The 'I love you's ' we shared
The phone call....
The one that said you were dead...
Gone forever.

6) Just So You Know
They tell me the pain will go,
They say the pain will pass,
They ask why I cry
They will never know why,
This pain is forever
Just so you know
This pain is proud
Just so you know
This cry is eternal
Just so you know
This heart is unwhole
Just so you know
They say it will get better,
They say it's just a stage,
They say it's part of life,
They say it all will pass
This pain is forever
Just so you know
This pain is proud
Just so you know
This cry is eternal
Just so you know
This heart is unwhole
Just so you know
I'll love you forever
Just so you know.

Ok so that was more than a few, sorry I got carried away.

United 93

Last night I rented a movie that I thought was going to be good and it turned out extremly good. It was United 93. If you haven't seen this movie yet you must!!! It is very emotional and definatly tugs at the heart strings. It also shows an extreme amount of courage these passangers must have had and needed to take over their plane so it wouldn't hit its target. of the four planes hijacked on 9/11/01 United 93 was the only one not to hit its target and crash into a field in Pennsylvania killing everyone aboard. This handful, ( in comparison to the thousands of lives lost at the towers), did a very courageous thing and will always be remembered for their selfless act.
Once again you definatly have to see this film. I knew it was going to be good when I rented it and I knew it was going to get to me, but I could have never guessed how much.

God bless all the people who were lost on that tragic day, and may they rest in peace, and bless the lives of the families they left behind.

A Few Pictures As Promised

So as promised here are a few pictures from when we went down south. I am not adding very many right now but you can be sure that more will follow......eventually....lol.
I hope that you guys like them... I have a few different ones here, there are some of the kids out at the acerage, and there are some of the animals at the zoo and what not. Wes and I will be going back down to Clagary to see his family at the end of the month so I will take some more of the animals that I missed and we will also be going to Calaway Park.

I Have never been there before so I hope it will be fun and not suck...lol. I'm sure it will be fine....Talk to you guys later..

I'm Back

Well After a week and a half I am safely back home. It was for sure an interesting trip. On the way down, little man did fairly well in his car seat considering the trip was so long for him and he hates his chair. The first couple days we were there we never really did a whole lot. I went into the city with my sister and did a bit of shopping. I was everyone's taxi while I was down there. I don't think there was a single day where I never heard "Can you give me a ride here", or "can you pick me up from work?". I probaly wouldn't have minded so much if some one had even offered to give me some gas money but no one did. I wouldn't have been such a big deal if my dad lived in town but he lives in the middle of no where and you have to drive to town to get anywhere.
But other than that it went ok. I only had one minor fight with my mom and it blew over quickly. I took little man to the zoo and he had so much fun. We got there kind of late though so most of the big animals like the tiger and lions were sleeping. But he got a real kick outta the ones that he did get to see. We went in this one building and he got to see BIG fish and a couple hippos and girrafes. He loved the fish. He kept running back and forth in front of the aquarium saying "look, look!!" and "wat dat" it was great. I'm glad that he had fun. Wes and I are going to take him back again on his holidays at the end of the month and we are going to leave earlier so we get there at a decent time and we have time to look at everything and we can spend some more time and see everything this time.
I never got to get in to the shop and get my car fixed until Tuesday night. But at least we got it done before I had to drive back home. Now the only thing I have to get fixed is I need a new rim for one of my tires but I can get that done here in town for a reasonable price. I think I am going to get that done on the weekend or something. I'm not doing any highway driving until the end of the month so I have a little while before I get to it.
My mom drove back home with me so I didn't have to drive home with little man all by my self. It was all right. Although she is worse that a kid, with the are we there yet and the i'm bored, and all that crap. But I will write more soon, I have a million things to do today and what not. I will fill you guys in on the rest later and post some pictures.